We all want what is best for our loved ones. However, what is best at death has little to do with funeral "luxuries." Allow your mind to rule your emotions in times like these. Once our mortal body is in the ground, fancy decorated caskets and huge flower arrangements will not bring us one step closer to God or enhance general welfare. They will disintegrate with the body! It is always better to shower our loved one with goodness and kindness in life, and commend them to the care and love of Providence in death. Our responsibilities lay in the proper and dignified burial with a loving concern for the remains of our loved one. Pine vs. galvanized steel. Simple vs. adorned. Marble vs. granite. All these questions are mute points when we really put our faith in the resurrection from the dead. What is our true obligation. What are our true obligations to the living -- especially charity to the poor. I guarantee you, you will not be asked by Almighty God to answer for the pine box you buried yourself or your loved one in. You will, however, be asked to give an account of your charity and love towards your loved one in life, the spiritual welfare of that person upon their death and the care for the poor and needy.

If you have a chance, it is a very good idea to make arrangements for your own funeral before your death. In this way, you can take a burden off your loved ones at a time of deep sorrow and stress in their lives, and allow them to concentrate on mourning your passing and building their faith in the spirit of the resurrection. Many funeral homes offer this "pre-planning" service. You can select your casket, purchase your burial plot, and pay for the professional services of the funeral director in advance. You can even arrange for services to be held at a specific church, and for the prayers, readings and other optional liturgical elements through your parish. While this is not always practical or financially possible, it is certainly a good idea for those in a position to do it. Remember, many funeral service centers offer convenient payment plans to assist you in the planning for the inevitable. It is going to happen. Best take care of it before the need arises.

Finally, before contacting far-away family members and friends who are not likely to have heard of the loved-one’s death already, you should contact your funeral director and parish priest. Family members will want to know when and where the various elements of the funeral services will be held. This will save you time, long distance phone calls (and bills) and emotional pain. Usually, all the arrangements can be made within an hour or two. If you are able, try to give those who will be traveling from a distance enough time to arrive before the services begin. Also, it is a good idea to set up a kind of "phone tree." Allow relatives to contact one another. Assign certain relatives to call other relatives so that all the burden doesn't fall on you.

Although the task of planning a funeral and making all the arrangements -- liturgy, cemetery, funeral center, legal requirements, notification of family and friends -- can seem daunting, do not let the responsibilities overwhelm you. Your priest and funeral director should be able to give you the counsel, guidance and professional assistance you will need. And don’t forget to turn to Our Lord Himself for help. He knows how you feel and He loves you. If you ask Him for His help, He is sure to give it.